IF YOU'VE GOT IT, FLAUNT IT

When you have a carapace,

You never have to make a fuss

About things getting on your back-

You have a handy luggage rack.

When your plastron is mosaic,

Life can never be prosaic;

The glowing sunset on your belly’s

Lovely as a Boticelli.

Handy neck that

Telescopes,

Helps you hide and

Helps you cope.

Eat your heart out, Nora Ephron!*

It must be hard

To have cold-blood,

To spend the winter

In the mud,

While I go crazy multi-tasking,

You just spend the whole day basking.

Painted Turtle Tet-A-Tet

Massive snapper rolling

Massive snapper doing whatever he wants to do

Massive snapper making a pass.
(Must be enticing because
turtles have been around
several hundred million years.)

Turtles love to bask in trees

When you're hot, you're hot. Even if you're not. Or else.

Don't worry-snappers have no teeth.
Do worry-their hard jaws can remove a finger or toe.

With a hitchhiker
The shell develops from the turtle's ribs

Being a hitchhiker
Babies are on their own after they hatch.

Snappers have eyes on top to use as a periscope.

The male turtle faces his intended and strokes
her face with his claws to show his affection. Ouch.

Derm issues
Turtles hibernate on the bottom of the lake or pond.
They eat veggies and meat.

You may be only one inch long,
But you are beautiful and strong;

For a collection of poems about CHELONIA (turtles and tortoises), see:

http://www.chelonian.org/turtle-poetry/

For a recipe for turtle soup:

Sorry, you're on your own with that.

* I Feel Bad About My Neck and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman by Nora Ephron