ROGER DUANE

5-foot drifts can't stop Roger Duane!

Rural mail carriers are members of the community. They’re your neighbors and your friends They drive down the lane to deliver fragile packages. When it’s raining, they leave a note: “It’s on the porch.” They stop and chat over the fence and know your dogs’ names.

We have had a dedicated, friendly mail carrier for 15 years. I’d like to introduce him to you, but lo, we do not know his name. Well, we know his name, but in our heads it’s bundled with a phantom name, and we don’t know which one is right. So, we call him Roger Duane.

Maybe one can disappear into anonymity in the city, but out here, there’s no hiding. You better know who’s who and who's their cousin, too. When your neighbor says, “LeRoy tipped his spreader into the ravine by Orwell’s place,” it’s best not to put on a blank face. Not remembering if someone’s name is Roger or Duane is not country cool.

It was early on when we began to lose our confidence in our mail dude’s name. One week we’d think it was Roger, the next Duane. What do you put on the gift certificate at Christmas? “To Roger or Duane, Merry Christmas.” Surely you’ve experienced a similar situation––you’ve known someone far too long to be asking his or her name?

My husband is not good at remembering names, probably because he has hundreds of professional contacts and friends. His cranial inbox is jammed; names are falling out of his ears. Our very good friend, Sam, is a bit older so he has accumulated even more names to forget. And he seriously forgets names. One time I was in a café reading the paper, and Sam came by with an old friend of his. He introduced us, and they moved on. Five minutes later, Sam hurried back to me and said, “What did I say his name was?” But I am good at names, so this mail carrier thing is driving me crazy.

There are endless articles and books on how to remember names. They all suggest repeating the name over and over until it sinks in. Roger. Duane. Roger? Duane? Roger. No, Duane. Not a useful technique for our problem.

Another tip is to find something that triggers your memory. So, if I forget my sister’s name, I simply picture her: dark brown hair on top, pale face in the middle, and brown shoes on the lower level. Like a Peppermint Patty! Patty––that’s it! Of course this only works if there is a name to remember––one you know for sure.

Mnemonics. Everyone suggests mnemonics. Usually they do this because they’re feeling real proud that they can remember that word.  I can do mnemonics.

         R         Real nice                  D         Drives

         O         On time                    U         Up to the mailbox

         G         Good humor            A         Always

         E         Every day                 N         Never late

         R         Regular                     E         Every day, just like Roger

So, that doesn’t help. I can remember too many names, not too few.

Some people suggest using the aural method: associate the name with a sound. Roooger: Rooooooad––Roger comes down the roooooad. Duane: Duaaaaane, coming down the laaaaane.

My favorite tip: repeat the name very loudly in conversation, as in  “I cannot remember if our mailman’s name is ROGER OR DUANE.” That didn’t help. And if you do that often enough, you’ll be taken somewhere where your mail is delivered to your room.

My husband called the post office, and they gave us the real name of our mailman, and he wrote it down in the phone book. That was 3 phone books ago and 2 have been recycled. He’s pretty sure it’s Roger. I’m leaning toward Daryl.