Sunday, April 24, 2011

IT’S A BIRD!


 IT’S A - BIRD?
Do you look at a 737 and wonder how it’s possible to get such a thing up in the air? The wild turkey has even worse aerodynamic qualities. My old dog, Obe, once stepped on a turkey in the field. It screamed and took to the air, and that’s putting it generously. It lumbered into the air, heading for the woods. Turkeys are very slow to achieve a cruising altitude, and Obe grabbed its foot a couple of times. It escaped to see another turkey season.


You’d hope that if you can’t run fast or get off the ground efficiently, you’d be extra smart. Turkeys, consider the dinosaur. Heed the brain-to-body size issue.

We have wilderness all around us, but one turkey laid her eggs right by the house. I knew our dogs would use those turkey babies (poults) for dog treats.





So here I go again, this time building a turkey preserve. (See Feb. 23 entry.) I dragged a fence out there and staked it. It had to be quite large; turkeys have a wingspan of 5-6 feet. But I was realistic-with a brain the size of a chestnut, we weren't going to have any precision landings in that pen. She abandoned her eggs. One of them still sits by our Haviland china.



The Song of the Turkey is never going to catch on, either. Their gobbling sounds like they’re falling down stairs.

So-not great flyers, not great singers. No grip whatsoever on location, location, location. Good thing they’re attractive; well, good thing they're unusual.

Turkeys have both waddles and snoods. (Sounds like a country duo from the 60s, doesn't it?) Take the waddle. It’s a chunk of tissue that hangs below the beak. It’s also called a dewlap. And a caruncle. Everything about this bird is unattractive, even its parts list. Even weirder is the turkey snood. That’s the nasty-looking piece of skin that hangs from the bird’s forehead, waving in front of its eyes. It’s a cockscomb, and it’s used as a garnish in France. In a cream sauce. With turkey or chicken kidneys. Honest. The turkey may not be too bright or graceful, but unlike people in France, you would never ever see one eating creamed snood.





To see songs about turkeys:

To hear a turkey sing:
http://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Wild_Turkey/id