The worms crawl in,  

 The worms crawl out; 

 The ants play Pinochle 

       On your snout....     
    

Why is it that a rat is horrifying, but if you glue on long ears and a puffy tail, it’s all “hippity, hoppity, Easter’s on its way?” What exactly makes a rat creepy and a rabbit cuddly?

Is something creepy because it causes you harm? Not necessarily. Mosquitoes hurt you and can cause serious diseases, but they aren’t creepy. Maggots won’t bite you and can actually help you, but can we all agree that maggots are undeniably creepy?

Creepiness isn’t necessarily a permanent condition; what’s creepy today may not be creepy tomorrow. Apparently we can accommodate to it. When I first moved out here, I removed ticks with tongs; now I grab them with bare fingers. But accommodation isn’t a given; snail slime is still creepy and always will be.

When I decided to figure out why some things creep me out and others do not, my Urge-to-Classify genes kicked in, and I coughed up the-

Creepiness Rating System

I. Motation 

        A.  Mode of Moving affects creepiness.

          Slithering gives most of us pause, hopping not so much. So, snakes
          are creepy and bunnies are cuddly. Slithering feels like sneaking up
         on something.

          The worm is harmless, but it slithers, too, in its own way. When it
          elongates and then contracts between my fingers. a shiver runs up
          my spine.

Researchers have found that we have an innate ability to detect the presence of a slithering snake and to be leery of it, so recognizing their creepiness is hard-wired into us.

         B. Speed of Moving

Bats slice through the air, ripping back and forth faster than the eye can follow. When something does that, it is beyond our control or containment. It feels as though it could turn and be on us before we can react. That’s creepy.

         C. Rate of acceleration

        

If something can go from zero to right-in-my-face in 2 seconds, I freak out. A mouse across the room is not alarming. A mouse that looks me in the eye and then darts for my pant leg is creepy.

Creepy movements get a rating of 8 ICKs (Indicators of  Creepiness per Kilogram)

II. No Accounting for Taste

        

A willingness to partake of carrion is disgusting to most of us. (If it’s not, let’s talk about that soon.) Flies, vultures, eagles, maggots, hyenas, and other bottom feeders like their meat well aged.

Crow eating a catfish that an eagle pulled out of a hole in the ice

         Carrion eating gets 9 ICKs on the Creepiness Rating Scale.

III. Quiet 

Many creepy beasts are quiet. A swooshing sound by the ear is much eerier than squawking. Something that moves without making much noise seems to be stalking.

Silence gets 4 ICKs.

IV. Unattractiveness

             As in all things, it seems the handsome guys get a free ride.

No one is creeped out by a swan or a fox, but if you have a bald, red, gnarly face like a vulture,  people just won’t be comfortable in your company. Have cute little eyebrows like a raccoon, you skate through life; maybe you can’t get across the road, but you are beloved. Have no discernible features like a maggot, and you're not such a treasure.

Shapes matter. Long, skinny things like snakes or possum tails and irregular things such as turkey snoods put us on edge. Shapes not seen often in nature, like the triangular face of the mantis, give us the willies.

How adorable.....

Unattractiveness gets 5 ICKs.

V. Invasiveness

It’s a given: if it can slide or bore its way into you––

10 ICKs will be given.

VI. Inescapability

Permission to come aboard, Ma'am?

Can’t remove it because it grabs you or holds on or because it’s sticky? Or does it flit and flop all around you, following you no matter which way you go? 

I love frogs. I was amused when one hopped onto my kayak as I paddled by his log. I was less amused when he turned toward me, eyed the well I was sitting in, and tensed his hind leg muscles to jump. He was about to join me and climb around on my bare legs at will. There'd be no escaping him without tipping over. Note: These are not little toadies. Two of these bullfrogs would fill up your glove compartment.

10 ICKs granted.

VII. Surprise factor  

           I like bats. I put up a bat house on the garage, for heaven's sake. But 

           when I reach for the door knob and one zooms out of the light 

           fixture right into my face, I’m not feeling the love.

        

Surprising me gets 9 ICKs.

VII. Things out of place

Love the bird in the sky. Hate the birds in the bedroom smacking against the inside of the window. Snake in the grass, right and proper. Snake in the water, yucky.
When things are in an unexpected place, it's creepy. Like ants playing Pinochle on your snout.

           Mislocation gets 7 ICKs.

VIII. Texture  

           Things can be tactiley creepy: scaly things, slimy things, wet
            things, warty things. 

           Untoward experiences have seeped into our genes and made us 

            react instinctively to snail slime and lizard scales.

                                        
                   Slimy, scaly textures get 9 ICKs.

IX. Means of expression

How a critter communicates affects our reactions. The sweet trill of a wren, the bobbing head and cooing of a mourning dove–these elicit smiles. The darting tongue of a snake? No smiles.

Tongue wagging:  8 ICKs.
Red tongue: 1 bonus ICK.

X.  The Unknown

            Some things we encounter are just never identified.

10 ICKs to this fellow.

For more on our genetic relationship to snakes:
http://www.livescience.com/2348-fear-snakes.html